FARGO — As a young adult, Katrina vowed she “would not set foot in a church or allow congregational members to dictate how I would or would not live my life. I had put in enough church time for the rest of my life. No thanks, not interested.”
Katrina and her husband faced painful circumstances losing three daughters: their first daughter was a late miscarriage, the second a stillbirth, and the third lived for an hour and a half.
Katrina wrote, “I knew I had done something to anger God. I hated and blamed him. I oscillated between blame and hate for myself and God for 19 years. Satan held me under his boot convincing me how worthless I was. I was depressed and started being overwhelmed with anxiety. I sought out a therapist who guided me towards healing, health and honesty with myself and others.”
Last fall, her husband was in a serious accident. It was a miracle he lived. His accident sent her down a path of reevaluation, realizing her life was not what it could or should be. “One session my therapist asked me why I hadn’t told her about our children who died. I replied, “It is none of your (expletive) business." She called my bluff or, more to the point, God did. I had pushed my pain down so deep I was like a caged animal not allowing anyone in.
Then my therapist asked, “Do you think maybe your interpretation is off? Maybe God doesn’t hate you; maybe Satan has you?” The very same week a friend invited me to Prairie Heights for the upcoming series Dancing with the Scars, and Brooke Hauser invited me to the same series. I thought someone was trying to tell me something.”
Katrina decided she had tried everything else; it was time to try God. She started attending Prairie Heights on Sundays and a small group spiritual growth class called “Launch” and met two of the pastors' wives. She says, “Never have I felt so much genuine love from people I had never met. They were happy to help, listen, and pray for me and mine. Shortly, I decided I wanted to have that joy, peace and love I could see in them. I was overwhelmed by Christ’s love and soon I said 'yes' to Christ!
"My life has since changed dramatically! I pray and sometimes it’s like I have this great friend and we are having a long conversation. I read my Bible almost daily. We started giving to the church, starting at a small percent and now are up to 8%. That was a super leap of faith for me as I was a control freak about money! I’ve started telling others about Christ, inviting them to Prairie Heights and volunteering. My heart isn’t mine anymore. It belongs to God. Sure, sometimes I am tempted to not listen and do what I want, but I am learning to listen to the Holy Spirit and obey God’s direction for me.”
Katrina was baptized Oct. 27 and ended her faith story with, “I feel lighter every day. Thank you, God, for sending your only perfect son to die and carry my sins. I cannot put my brain around how much you love us.”
God is closer than you think.