Somewhere in my parent’s home exists a photograph of them standing stiffly on either side of my oldest brother, Rich, in front of a flaming yellow, full-bloom forsythia bush outside the big, brick Lutheran church of my youth.
My mother (I think I’m remembering this correctly) wears a stylish dress she likely made herself and a round, white hat that, if turned upside down and used as a bucket, could easily hold a half-gallon of wild raspberries. Dad wears his Sunday uniform: suit, tie, easy smile.
While the White House, Congress and the shouters, doubters and pouters tie themselves in knots over health insurance reform, our good friends at the banks aren’t even breaking a sweat in their effort to buy a nonreform banking bill.
And here’s the sweet part of this non-reform reform purchase: they’re using our money to do it.
The National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing, better known as NASCAR, often brags that it’s the only sport in the world to begin every new season with its allstar game, the year’s biggest, richest race, the Daytona 500.
A quick peek at many of today’s operative numbers in American agriculture should raise rural eyebrows and maybe a few Capitol Hill curiosities. The latest cattle figures from U.S. Department of Agriculture illustrate what I mean.
Like Henny “Take my wife — please” Youngman, Steven Wright has built a comedy career on one-line jokes. A classic Wright one-liner unblinkingly and unsmilingly asks: “Twenty-four hours in a day, 24 beers in a case — coincidence?”
Of the many memories I have of Christmas on the farm, I don’t have a single memory of ever telling Santa what I wanted for Christmas.
I do remember being told innumerable times that I had better be good or Santa wouldn’t bring me what I wanted. How could he, was my sassy reply, when I hadn’t told him what I wanted.
It was more a wavering nonwaiver than another government oldie-but-goodie, a nondenial denial.
Still nothing in the Environmental Protection Agency’s Dec. 1 delay to grant the ethanol industry’s request to boost the current 10 percent ethanol limit in gasoline to 15 percent suggested it won’t happen — and soon.
If you asked unimpeachable sources such as St. Peter or former Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee why so many pretty average people often choose journalism for a career over, say, rocket science or particle physics, the simple, one-word answer you’ll likely get is “mathematics.”
The final Saturday in October swept me three hours south for lunch with my parents and nearly-new grandniece and, later that Halloween afternoon, backwards about 40 years for visits with some ghosts on the farm of my youth.
If the generals and admirals within the concentric walls of the Pentagon — hardly a bastion of greenie weenies — view global warming as a “serious threat to national security,” exactly who does the American Farm Bureau Federation view as the enemy in its latest astro-turf war against climate change legislation?
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