DENOUDEN: Of all the ’90s fads that could have returned, why Furby?

• Candy DenOuden

Candy DenOuden

Talk about it

Each year, stores and shoppers alike brace for the race to holiday bankruptcy, which is achieved when stores are bereft of all items and shoppers of all cash, credit and sanity.

A huge part of that craziness always surrounds the hottest toys, because, as we all know, little Suzie’s life will end if she doesn’t receive the same toy as 2 million other children.

Now, I’m a child of the ’90s. Being born in 1987, I just missed out on the ’80s in all their big-haired glory (shucks), and entered into cognitive memory territory right around the days when shoulder pads were rightfully being denounced, and baggy pants, Will Smith and “Duck Tales” were entering their heydays.

We had great toys — Tamagotchi, Nintendo, Buzz Lightyear and, sing it with me, “Segaaaaa!”

That’s why I find it so disconcerting — no, downright disturbing — that out of all the ’90s fashions, toys and trends that have and could be resurrected, the one hitting shelves hard this holiday season is (brace yourself) Furby.

Yes, that’s right. Furby.

Remember Furbys? Of course you do. They’re the sort of thing that gets seared into your brain, like the spinning heads in “Return to Oz” or the sound of Steve Urkel’s voice.

I get why toys come back around: So we who watched “Garfield and Friends” as children can now buy it on DVD to make sure the next generation is properly indoctrinated with our very own “good ole days.”

But Furby?

I’m going to skip over the fact that none of my peers seemed to really like the creepy little things, even though they were everywhere.

I’ll even skip how their existence had finally and mercifully faded until this year’s resurgence brought them back into my consciousness.

No, instead I’ll focus on how mystified I am that, from the generation that turned turtles into ninjas — ninjas! — this is the toy that resurfaced.

We are the last generation to remember life before Google maps, cell phones in ubiquity and analog … well, anything. Beyond that, we were, if I might offer an opinion, the last generation to enjoy Saturday morning cartoons that were worth waiting a week to watch.

This is when the “hot” toys were heavily advertised. Somewhere between “Recess” and “Pepper Ann,” children were introduced to the latest action figures, “Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego?” games (new on CD-Rom!) and whatever was being made by Mattel.

I rarely got in on the mainstream madness, but I did have my EasyBake Oven and, most notably, a set of SkyDancers fairy flyers.

I also got in on the digital pet fad. Why it attracted me I’m not sure, considering I had a yard full of real-life animals I could, and did, take care of every day.

Nevertheless, I had a Puppy Pal (generic version of a Tamagotchi). As I recall, the dog usually ran away about day three because I got distracted with things like feeding Lady, my real dog (who never ran away, just for the record).

Why didn’t that get reborn? I could see my 9- and 13-year-old nephews or my 11-year-old niece teaching a digital Chihuahua how to heel. Even my toddling 1- and 2-year-old nieces could probably jump on that handheld bandwagon.

Which is why, again, I say: Furby? Really?

Tags: gift guide, life, christmas, columns, furbys