AMY KIRK: Tips to avoid irritating husbands, have a harmonious relationship

• Amy Kirk

Amy Kirk

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It’s been proven that spouses in a harmonious relationship make cohabitating much easier and more pleasant.

Once a couple begins their life together, they start to understand what their spouse’s hot buttons are and his or her pet peeves. Building repertoire of precautions helps avoid irritating each other. I’m pretty sure my husband’s list is three times longer, but here are some things I do to avoid being an annoying spouse.

1. Do a mood check. I just come out and ask, “So how’s your mood?” I do this frequently and randomly so he can’t predict when I’m going to tell him about a problem that will affect his day’s plans. This is the first step I take when I have bad news. It’s a useful technique whenever we’re out of water, livestock are out, or the worst news: the toilet’s plugged beyond my capabilities.

2. No Dumping. When he walks in the door I don’t immediately dump an unavoidable problem on him that needs manly skills or knowledge or bombard him with my squirrel-like chatter about an exciting project I saw on Pinterest that I want his help with. Purposely giving him some man cave time before trying to engage him in conversation gets a better reaction.

3. Brevity. My husband prefers the lame “short version” of a problem. When it comes to details he thinks they should be saved for paying attention to, not for describing a problem.

As much as I love sharing little details about a mild crisis, details are best saved for girlfriends who appreciate the best part of any good drama.

4. Start with the outcome. If the problem’s been resolved but he needs to know about it, it’s best if I say it’s been resolved right away, otherwise he starts figuring out in his head what he has to do to remedy the problem. Prattling on about a cow-related issue only to find out that there’s nothing he has to do because I waited until the end to explain that it’s been resolved causes undue problem-analyzing.

5. Skip the drivel. He just wants to hear the boring facts of the situation, not a bunch of side plots and irrelevant information to the situation.

6. Keep it secret from him. He actually prefers this in certain instances. Some information is best kept to myself but only if a problem has been taken care of and there’s nothing he has to do about it. If everything has been handled and there’s nothing that he needs to know about, I don’t tell him.

Hearing about a predicament that he doesn’t have to resolve and that was taken care of differently than the way he would’ve done it, gets him keyed up. Instead I save my story for girlfriends who commend my efforts and give me the “gold star” that I enjoy getting for my achievements.

7. Lastly, cook up one of his man-food favorite dishes. This clever little trick diminishes bad news such as another fender-bender. (Note: if you decide to incorporate this tip, you don’t have to eat it. Not all man food is fit for female consumption).

There’s a time and a place to be annoying and it’s not with my husband. I prefer to save it for nagging my kids.

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