AMY KIRK: Marriage can’t live on love alone

• Amy Kirk

Amy Kirk

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My husband jokes that I married him for his land. If that were the case, I would feel differently about kochia weed, bindweed and arid ground.

Most couples get married for love, which was on my husband’s and my list for spousal qualifications, but we both knew we couldn’t live on love alone and focused on more practical reasons for getting married. I had something he really wanted: guns. Mine were nicer than his. He knew that adding mine to his gun cabinet would add value to his gun collection and he’d be able to use mine if we got married.

The fact I could aid in producing his heirs was also a big draw. I held the key to ending the incessant badgering from his dad about getting married and giving him grandkids, but we already knew we wanted a family. We believed having kids would complete our happiness by raising them to do our most dreaded, mundane chores.

My beau also had something to offer that I couldn’t resist: a lifetime of opportunities to fulfill my ever-thirsting need for challenges, adventure, outdoor labor and arguing. I also wanted to learn additional ways to make the most of what I had. During our courtship I noticed he seemed to have expertise in this department and felt he could teach me a lot. A life together meant he could share his knowledge with me on stuff like endless uses for baling wire.

At the time, I felt I’d reached an age (23) when I needed to experience different cultures. There was so much I had to learn about people, which included knowing more about TV remotes, since a big chunk of my youth was without television. My husband was someone who knew of these things.

While we dated, I used my secret weapons to improve my chances that he would pick me. The more time we spent together, the more potential he saw in me as “the one.” I exemplified a woman who could handle any activity typically stereotyped for men including hard labor, heavy lifting and drinking beer. He knew I was the woman for him because I could open his toughest gates by myself and shut them behind me.

When we met I’d been working at a good paying job — the government kind. I was making a lot of money working and not doing much else except beer drinking after work — an interest we had in common.

I was living a splendid life of spontaneity with the Black Hills Helitack fire crew, but making the most money I’d ever earned was getting ridiculous. Earning a lot of money was starting to lose its luster (a drawback to being young and naïve) for both of us. Our money making got so out of hand that my love interest came up with a plan to get our money under control and never have that problem again. So we got married. We’ve not had ridiculous amounts money since because we had children to make sure of it.

Once we established common interests and what we had to offer each other, we agreed to settle down with together so we could stay home and have a beer.

Amy Kirk and her husband raise their two kids on a fourth-generation cow/calf operation near Pringle. She blogs at ranchwifeslant.areavoices.com

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