Hung up on pickups

Talk about it

Back when I was still playing the dating game, I heard plenty of pickup lines. Some were clever, others were desperate attempts and a few made me walk away.

Pickups that made me exit the area quickly were when guys would say something like, “Wanna take a drive in my truck?” while looking over at his half-ton. Mentally, I was saying, “Go back to school and study up on your vocabulary words before asking me out. Pick up a dictionary and look up the word ‘truck.’ It clearly defines what a truck is.” I would’ve figured all guys would know the difference.

This happens to be a big pet peeve of mine: people referring to their miniature, half, or three-quarter ton pickups as a truck. It annoys the H-E-double toothpicks out of me. Most of my pet peeves usually have something to do with my husband’s or kids’ habits, but this one is in the mega category.

Maybe it’s just the way my husband and I were raised, but we both agree that a pickup is defined as a utility vehicle weighing less than a ton. Pickups are for “picking up” things; you know, like lumber, cattle panels or kids.

I even researched our theory by going straight to our library to confirm the validity of our theory against the phenomenon among Americans who insist on calling their Ford Rangers and other light-duty vehicles “trucks.” In the chunky book section for toddlers, I found the one book titled “TRUCKS” in tall letters. It was beautifully illustrated with big photographs of actual trucks: Dump trucks, semis, fire trucks, tank trucks, logging trucks, refrigerated trucks and numerous others. Plainly, just “heavy duty” equipment that hauls stuff. The book labeled each picture using large print to spell out each kind of truck for easy reading and understanding. I carefully looked for a picture of a pickup. Amazing. There it wasn’t. I put the book back on the shelf and all doubts aside.

I try to avoid correcting people when they talk about their half-ton pickup as their truck, but it’s HARD. Really hard. It’s a real nerve getter for me and probably very few others, but when people mention their truck, an 18-wheeler sitting in their driveway comes to mind and I do a mental correction of the misuse of the word.

At the repeated offense of the term “truck” to mean pickup, I have to refrain from voicing my opinion because I’m oftentimes the minority. The irritation worsens every time people refer to what is clearly a pickup, or in some cases, a Tonka toy pickup on steroids. The opportunity to correct these people is there, believe me, but I can’t bring myself to say anything about it. I really want to set “truck” users straight, but I don’t like confrontation. Instead, I go home and share with my husband another case of “truck” ignorance.

I’ve determined it must be a case of adult peer pressure that all the other men and women are saying “truck,” and eventually it becomes the “in” thing to say. Once the trend gets started, it spreads quickly, making it hard to stop.

When my husband and I first met and he asked me on a date, I can promise you he did it with a pickup.

Amy and her husband raise their two kids on a fourth-generation cow/calf operation near Pringle, S.D. Visit her blog at http://amykirk.com/ranchwifesslant.

Tags: amy kirk, life, opinion, relationships, dating, pickups, trucks